how to clean a couch

there are 3 ways of doing things . the right way . the wrong way . and my way , which is basically the wrong way X6 .

step 1 . lay on the couch and think about bad it smells .

step 2. a week later lay on the couch and think about how bad it smells .

step 3 . remove the cushion covers .

step 4. throw them in the washing machine with soap .

step 5 . put the washer on the highest water temperature .

step 6. put the covers in the dryer at the highest temperature .

step 7 . get distracted , and forget about the dryer .

step 8 . the covers are dry , and realize that they shrank and are now too small for the couch .

step 9 . go to sleep and deal with it in the morning .

step 10 . fold the cushions in half and use my feet to kick them into the covers .

step 11. accidentally break the zippers . but the cushions are in there , so thats good .

step 12 . get out my sewing stuff and hand stitch the zippers shut .

step 13 . step back and admire a clean , lumpy couch .

step 14 . realize i accidentally lost my scissors in the cushion i just sewed shut .

step 15 . dont tell anyone about the scissors .