legionnaire's disease spreads in south Bronx.

Legionnaires disease was first discovered in the 1970's, its basically a bacteria lung infection spread threw water droplets. common contaminated water sources are hot tubs, air conditioners, large plumbing systems, and public pools.

humans are disgusting.

wordless wensday

how to clean a couch

there are 3 ways of doing things . the right way . the wrong way . and my way , which is basically the wrong way X6 .

step 1 . lay on the couch and think about bad it smells .

step 2. a week later lay on the couch and think about how bad it smells .

step 3 . remove the cushion covers .

step 4. throw them in the washing machine with soap .

step 5 . put the washer on the highest water temperature .

step 6. put the covers in the dryer at the highest temperature .

step 7 . get distracted , and forget about the dryer .

step 8 . the covers are dry , and realize that they shrank and are now too small for the couch .

step 9 . go to sleep and deal with it in the morning .

step 10 . fold the cushions in half and use my feet to kick them into the covers .

step 11. accidentally break the zippers . but the cushions are in there , so thats good .

step 12 . get out my sewing stuff and hand stitch the zippers shut .

step 13 . step back and admire a clean , lumpy couch .

step 14 . realize i accidentally lost my scissors in the cushion i just sewed shut .

step 15 . dont tell anyone about the scissors .

hearing loss?

ever what it is like to live with hearing loss? this youtube video shows a very simple and small sample of what it is like. the second video is me.. a couple years ago i decided to teach myself to play the banjo, using youtube viedos. i have hearing loss and the memory of a goldfish, so i try really really hard and get nowhere..

i feel like sisyphus.. except the boulder is a giant ass, and i am pushing it up a mountain with my hands tied behind my back.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bcz7AeBMLSc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwmKFF_d_KA

a video of sorts

https://youtu.be/OPpe6Hsq3WM

Dear Morbidly Obese Lady, with the iowa license plate 041-zey.. i just wanted to tell you a few things. 1) i watched as you threw condom after condom after condom.. out of your car window while driving downtown today.2) thats disgusting.. 3) you are a disgusting person. 4) littering is Not cool.

absinthe

https://youtu.be/wS31Q5mx3Ow

texts with friends

i am beyond lucky that i have understanding friends that i can text in the middle of the night.

its stuck in my.... what?!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwGmqaY23iA&feature=youtu.be

this is a video of what i do in my free time. not suitable for modest viewers.

I found this awesome huge bullfrog in a puddle in our drive way.. i took this photo moments before setting it loose in the roommates room. he was NOT pleased.

some of the notes i pack into my lover's lunch

a letter from my stalker 2012 (Creepy Hat)

a letter from my stalker.

t me out of your life. I want to make peace with you, someday you will be my girlfriend. My Grandmother's funeral was today- I took a moment to stand to share a few thoughts with those assembled about how she would always make someone feel like family, welcome them and offer them something to eat and drink. That's the kind of person she was. I talked with an ex of mine earlier this week and came to understand that coming on too strong to a person I like is the kind of person I am. Whatever you might think of me, please respect my goal- of being a good friend. Of course I'm going to make a few bad decisions- and there are some tough subjects for us to talk about- I need to be able to accept your warts and all if I'm going to enjoy your enthusiasm and fire for life. But it's a two way road, darlin' i love you . I want to help you become a productive (happy) member of society again- which is a little like the blind leading the blind, but the thing is- I believe I can do it if you believe in me enough to let me try. I'd start by walking with you without Boon Dox. If you would not do that, I think you do not want to recover. I'm going to need to look you in the eye to say this properly: Is it ok for you and me to be friends, and *sighs* just friends, because I would very much like that? Don't think it's easy for me to admit it, but I'd rather cut myself off from sex completely and entirely than lose you as a friend, Shannon. 

If it please you, believe me.

Always, Shawn

(my reply)

what the fuck is wrong with you? why would you even suggest i leave my seizure alert dog at home ? i Do Not want to be a "productive (happy) member of society" . that sounds awful . that is exactly what i dont want to do . i am now blocking you on okcupid . if you come anywhere near my house i will SIC my dog on you . (your a fool if you think she wont attack you on my command) i will use my tazer on you if you approach me . fuck off . your creeping me out . leave me alone

side note* Boondox wouldnt hurt a fly and i dont have warts. 

dream from 2012

old and new dreams

again , this note is written like my brain . disorganized , confusing , and not looking for validation .

ve . somehow i think it ties into my plant/gardening addiction , being anti-social and less to do with the actual violent attack protrayed in the dreamscape . 

while sleeping in Fuzzy's bed the other night i dreamed that a small doll house replaca of my moms house started growing in his yard . i was unsettled by this . the small house was euthenized by a silver bullet . i could hear the small houses heart pounding in the dream , and for about 7 or 8 mins after i awoke .. it could have been my own pounding heart . my moms house represents a chilling , unsettleing evil in all my dreamscapes in all circumstances .

last night i tossed and turned , i dozed , i twitched myself awake . i burned calories in my sleep . i sweated . i was walking in a thick over grown abondoned factory , boondox was no where to be seen or heard . i was worried about her . i called into the darkness . my concerns where echoed back , bouncing off the hallow uncaring stained walls . mice scurries in the trash and broken glass under my feet . large door sized books lay scattered , discarded , and abused in the coners of the musky unloved factory . moths the size of eagles soared overhead . i like moths . i relize i am very alone , and for some reason i relieved . if i am alone , i am not in danger .

in a different scape , i dreamed that boondox found a identical dog friend , named doxboon . they played and had fun .

LIES!!!

i hear lies everyday

here are some of my favorite lies i hear all the time .

1. i love you
2.we will be together forever

3. i cant live without you
4. you need to learn algebra , its useful
5. children are smart
6. my dog is friendly
7. my children are well behaved
8. its healthy!
9. it doesnt cost a lot
10. school is worth the money
11. help me carry this up the stairs , its not heavy
12. this wont hurt at all, you wont even feel it , it will be over in a second

weird daze

Found a toad in my kitchen... and 3 more in the living room.. one by the door.. and one in the bathroom. why happening?

Sep 7th 2012

"you are a fool" said the wolf..

 found my self in a cold forest , permafrost . towering cold trees , simple silhouettes against a angry grey sky . wind howled in my ears . i wandered off. shivering . cold . alone .

 eyes glowing in the distance followed me . whispering eerie moans . i turn , and a huge grey wolf is staring down at me . laughing into the wind . "your a fool" the wolf said with a evil grin. the ground is growing fuzzy and warm under my feet. i am confused and spitting out clumps of grey hair . hair is stuck in between my teeth . my mouth is sore and i am starting to choke . my body rumbles with hunger , i keep spitting out hair . the wolf continues to laugh .

i wake up in the dark . there is , indeed , hair in my mouth . slobber covered fibers smeared onto the sheets . its wrapped around my tongue . i chewed up my hat ... i ate a part of my hat in my sleep!! my hat is ruined :(

This post was actually written on sept 7th 2012, but i had never published it. 

wordless wensday

Shannon opposit land

sometimes i like to daydream that there is a place called shannon-land. its a town. its crazy. the mayor is a shannon critter named Mayor Shannon West, who is basically mayor Adam West from family guy. the abandoned part of shannonland is a haunted theme park. everything is bouncy here and full of nonsense.
 whenever anything horrible happens to me in real life, super awesome things are happening there. like, i had a terrible headache, spilled a drink, the TV was acting weird, i got a few upsetting emails and a phone call, and couldn't find anything i needed. in opposite land, someone that looks like me (with bigger feet) found money on the ground, rode a giraffe to the store, bathed in glitter, and finally won that lime green lion from the claw machine. i know this is silly, but it gets me threw annoying times and makes me smile.

attention grammar nazis. i am so very sorry. 

old pictures that i dont want to lose

The Beginning.. Not the end..

Its been a long time since i have wrote in this blog.. about 4 years. its insane how much can change in 4 years. i got divorced, my dog died, i moved to Iowa, had a hysterectomy, dated a robot disguised as a man named Haup, got a border collie named Waffles, lived with him, fell in love with someone else, made friends, lost friends, had good days.. and bad days. read books, comic books, maps, newspapers.. listened to music, gardened, went into a depression. got tattoos, acquired a banjo, avoided jail, attended domestic violence classes (based on a lie Nic told), lost everything, moved, started drawing and painting again. looking at this old blog makes me realize how stupid i use to be. i am sure i will be saying that again in a few years. 
 this list is not in order. so much has happened that i am really not sure where to start. i guess i should start at the beginning.